It was my son Jonathan’s birthday yesterday and I was cooking – for him, his wife Lyndsey, the three boys (5, 8 and 11) and Lyndsey’s mum Julie, who is down from Wales for a week. Seven of us. When I asked Jonathan what he’d like me to cook, really, it was a foregone conclusion: moussaka. Because if I offer to cook, that’s nearly always his choice, with a Greek salad on the side. And then – because it was a birthday – the pudding would be a cake and that meant it just had to be Torta Caprese. Because Torta Caprese has been the family’s celebration cake since about 2001 when I bought Sophie Grigson’s Organic book.

That got me thinking about the recipes that last. The ones we turn to again and again over many  years. I don’t buy cookery books much these days as I rarely entertain in the way I once did. I cook for family and friends who are staying with me – but that’s a few times a year, not a weekly event. My son lives close by but because he has young three boys and a bigger house, then I’ll take a course round to him (or a whole meal as last night for the birthday). Other than that, I meet up with friends for meals in restaurants or cafes.

Eating has become very different to what I grew up with and even when I was a young thing in my twenties. When I was first working and married in the late 1970s, choices for eating out were very restricted compared to what we have today. Basically, it was something like Pizza Express (which was absolutely the best pizza at the time; no sourdough pizza then) or somewhere posh and expensive that one only went to for special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries. There weren’t gastropubs; there weren’t French-style all-day cafes where you could choose to snack or eat a meal. There weren’t cafes to meet in for a coffee and chat. So there was a lot of entertaining at home. That’s how you got together with friends and I can remember spending hours – days! – preparing for extravagant dinner parties with lots of courses and at least two desserts as well as a platter of cheeses. But now you can easily find some kind or eatery that perfectly fits what you want to do: a light lunch with a friend; a simple and reasonably cheap meal before the theatre; a splash-out celebration meal. And some restaurants fit all! And there’s always somewhere open. And even when entertaining, it’s not expected you slave away in the kitchen to prepare every single thing. Though frankly, making a large moussaka is akin to kitchen slavery (😉😀 ). I love making it for the family, but it takes literally hours. But … I didn’t make starters. I bought lovely olive fougasse from the local French bakery, Paul; I bought excellent pots of guacamole (though I used to always make my own) and whipped feta in Waitrose to go with some nice little tortilla chips they do. And yes, I made the Torta Caprese, but I’m so practised at this it really doesn’t take long at all.

So … thinking now about these books and recipes that have stood the test of many years in my kitchen, they’re really about family. These are the things we love to eat when we come together. And here are my top cookery books that I’ll never part with!

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A Book of Middle Eastern Food by Claudia Roden

This must be one of the oldest cookery books I own; it is literally falling apart and always opens at the moussaka page. Published in 1968 (when, I’d like to add, I was very much still at school), this paperback edition has a date of 1975. At that time I was working as a young editor at Methuen where I became responsible for commissioning and editing cookery books – mainly on account of my boss then saying I had to do it as he couldn’t toast bread without burning it. I was very young, only a junior editor, so it was a wonderful gift of big responsibility but an exciting challenge. I do occasionally cull my shelves of cookery books but I never throw away ‘my’ books – the ones I commissioned and edited.

Claudia Roden’s recipe for moussaka (click here) is classic. I always get the book out although I don’t really need to. I’ve barely changed the recipe over the years, though don’t exactly measure out her ingredients and tend to throw it all together. I think I put in more fresh tomato; once the meat is browned and spices and other things added, I pour in some hot water and then let it simmer for a while until the water has pretty much evaporated as I feel a bit more cooking of the meat is a good thing. I only put in one layer of aubergines: between the meat and the béchamel. Someone once asked why I didn’t put a layer on the bottom too, and all I could think of was that when I started making moussaka, aubergines were very hard to come by and expensive – so I probably thought one was enough! Anyway, it works well and when I was in beautiful Kardamyli years ago I used this photo of the moussaka I ate there for my blog’s heading – and it only has one layer of aubergine, just the way I make it!

I’ve also adapted the recipe in recent years to make a vegetarian version, using puy lentils instead of meat, for the vegetarians in the family (click here).

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Organic by Sophie Grigson & William Black

Sophie’s wonderful book (published 2001) is the source of the Torta Caprese recipe (click here). It’s a wonderful cake, more dessert than a teatime cake, and I always serve it with some Greek yoghurt or crème fraiche and berries on the side (strawberries, blueberries, raspberries). Intensely rich and chocolatey, it’s flour free, being made with ground almonds, eggs, butter, sugar and lots of chopped-up dark chocolate. You only need a fairly modest serving but I promise you this is a recipe to come back to again and again – just as we do!

Another favourite from this book is Sophie’s recipe for a roasted squash and tomato soup (click here).

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Cakes by Barbara Haher

While the Torta Caprese has long been a favourite for adult celebrations, it’s a little too grown-up and rich for young children. Hence, a different cake has become a favourite when I make birthday cakes for the boys. This lovely book of cakes by Barbara Maher has been on my shelves for so many years I don’t remember when I bought it, but it was published in 1982. Barbara calls it a ‘pound cake’ though it’s the same as a traditional Victoria sponge with its classic ingredients and measurements. What I like about Barbara’s recipe is the slight variation to the classic recipe, for she separates the eggs and whisks up with egg whites with half the sugar, and this greatly improves the texture of the cake, making it a bit more special than the usual Victoria sponge. I make it as a marble cake – half vanilla, half chocolate – which we all like and it looks more exciting when you cut into it. I made it for Freddie’s 1st birthday (he’s now 11) and I’ve kept on making it for him and other grandsons. I always make a chocolate ganache icing and now the boys are older, they like to decorate the cake themselves so I buy a selection of decorations and leave them to it. (Click here for cake and icing recipes.)

There’s also a great recipe for Carrot Cake in the book – lighter than many but still very good (click here).

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My Favourite Italian Recipes by Antonio Carluccio

There is only one tiramisu recipe for me – Antonio Carluccio’s. I am very fussy about tiramisu. No I don’t want coffee liqueur or amaretto rather than traditional Marsala wine; no I definitely don’t want cream in it. The only variation I’ve made over the years is to grate a little dark chocolate on the layers, à la Delia Smith. The Carluccio recipe is pure; it’s classic and it’s the only one for me. Click here for the recipe. The book was published in 2002.

Another great and go-to recipe in this book is his Focaccia.

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Delia Smith’s Christmas

Well, there had to be a Delia! When my son and daughter went off to university I gave them each a copy of Delia’s Complete Cookery Course – a kind of bible of cooking. There have been a few favourite Delia’s over the years but the one that has lasted best is the recipe for Scottish Whisky Dundee Cake in her Christmas book (published 1990) (click here for recipe). It’s become a favourite as not all the family like a traditional rich Christmas cake and this lighter fruit cake is a perfect substitute. And really, it’s so good, you don’t have to save it for Christmas. It can be eaten at any time of the year!

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The birthday cake

As I said above, the grandsons now like to decorate their own birthday cakes so I decided it would be a good idea to ask them to decorate their dad’s cake yesterday. I bought a few things in Waitrose in the morning and said they didn’t have to use them all … they did, of course! Dried raspberry pieces, golden covered chocolate balls … and can you see the two smiley faces? This is the creation of Ben (8) and Alex (5). What a great job they did. And what a lovely birthday meal we had.

Do you have long-time favourite recipes? Do please let me know.